








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3278 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1870 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1991 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1300 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,756 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | tirsa | 62% | 60 |
| #3 | kimcHi | 58% | 60 |
| #4 | Abelsiini | 54% | 90 |
| #5 | Whiffe | 53% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kimcHi | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | tirsa | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Abelsiini | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Whiffe | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Abandemon | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiffe | 260 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | kimcHi | 210 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | tirsa | 169 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Abelsiini | 154 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Abandemon | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |





