








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 847 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1795 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1179 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 982 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,929 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xenon | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Porca Veia | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | γɒɿɘb | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | ' brn1™ ✌ | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Capetao Planeta | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | S4L4M3 | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | JaCOzeRa | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | Yared | 50% | 84 |
| #10 | 乂卂丨 | 45% | 62 |
| #11 | @checkmate_music_oficial | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γɒɿɘb | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Yared | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Porca Veia | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | 乂卂丨 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | @checkmate_music_oficial | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yared | 265 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | 乂卂丨 | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Porca Veia | 113 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | γɒɿɘb | 62 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | JaCOzeRa | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yared | +2.08 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | γɒɿɘb | +1.82 | 81 | 77 |
| #3 | Capetao Planeta | +1.04 | 52 | 70 |
| #4 | Paizão ×͜ × | +0.29 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | JaCOzeRa | -0.05 | 54 | 64 |





