










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 744 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1169 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1694 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,382 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `Joi | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Voseph | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Maxxo | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | BxEasy | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | ♲ Odis | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Voseph | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Maxxo | 55% | 91 |
| #4 | BxEasy | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | ♲ Odis | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | Tubz | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maxxo | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ♲ Odis | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Voseph | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | BxEasy | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maxxo | 301 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | BxEasy | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | `Joi | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Voseph | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♲ Odis | 19 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTX 1080Ti | +2.20 | 77 | 45 |
| #2 | Voseph | +0.17 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | `Joi | -0.27 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | ♲ Odis | -0.88 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | BxEasy | -0.91 | 64 | 37 |





