








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 454 | 36% |
| Smokes | 157 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 251 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,761 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apu | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | NewAccGoBrrr | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Only Deagle | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | harry | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apu | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | NewAccGoBrrr | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Only Deagle | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | harry | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NewAccGoBrrr | 12 | 0.0328 |
| #2 | harry | 10 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Only Deagle | 3 | 0.0353 |
| #4 | apu | 2 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NewAccGoBrrr | 127 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #2 | harry | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Only Deagle | 17 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | apu | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | harry | +3.06 | 94 | 51 |
| #2 | Only Deagle | +1.33 | 46 | 22 |
| #3 | NewAccGoBrrr | +1.28 | 91 | 54 |
| #4 | a | -3.28 | 46 | 38 |
| #5 | apu | -4.36 | 35 | 10 |





