








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 308 matches | ||
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4497 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4035 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1713 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3413 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,850,153 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ETvanSchleck | 49% | 301 |
| #3 | Losy_Golab | 47% | 104 |
| #4 | Los_LuschoS | 45% | 524 |
| #5 | Waldhof Power | 44% | 344 |
| #6 | derinderinderinderin | 43% | 154 |





