








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 31 | 12% |
| Smokes | 64 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 103 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,255 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kitty Cats | 32% | 19 |
| #8 | Cats | 25% | 4 |
| #9 | SloppyPancake66 | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | ʎnb ǝɔıu ɐ ɯ,ı {commend} | 20% | 5 |
| #11 | dogpun | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheese.jpg | 3 | 0.0313 |
| #2 | SloppyPancake66 | 3 | 0.0441 |
| #3 | Kitty Cats | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | TrueEvil | 2 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | 阿姨挤奶机 | 2 | 0.0192 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʎnb ǝɔıu ɐ ɯ,ı {commend} | +7.44 | 79 | 31 |
| #2 | MapleBar | +6.68 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | Tokyo | +5.85 | 88 | 56 |
| #4 | 阿姨挤奶机 | +3.59 | 85 | 32 |
| #5 | TrueEvil | +1.00 | 77 | 14 |





