








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1835 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1418 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1104 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,430 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HscLIfe | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | 太陽𐂃 | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Dee | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | ✿Flower✿ | 51% | 88 |
| #5 | Patrick | 47% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ⌓‿⌓ | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Moon | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ✿Flower✿ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 426 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✿Flower✿ | 231 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | ⌓‿⌓ | 156 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Moon | 137 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | HscLIfe | 124 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dee | +3.82 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | HscLIfe | +3.03 | 77 | 77 |
| #3 | Patrick | +2.99 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | ✿Flower✿ | +0.57 | 59 | 54 |
| #5 | ⌓‿⌓ | +0.20 | 57 | 54 |





