








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 565 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1484 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 970 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1791 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,244 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmunzdabug | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | LegateBlake | 53% | 94 |
| #3 | Krilek | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | ReptarPhd | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | the bjorgerking | 50% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the bjorgerking | 474 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | LegateBlake | 263 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nodroj | 111 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | ReptarPhd | 108 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Krilek | 101 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nodroj | +7.06 | 94 | 55 |
| #2 | Jmunzdabug | +6.99 | 91 | 62 |
| #3 | ReptarPhd | +6.44 | 91 | 56 |
| #4 | LegateBlake | +0.67 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Krilek | -1.22 | 56 | 59 |





