








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 20% |
| Smokes | 326 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 306 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,644 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gorppa | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Chörp | 41% | 58 |
| #3 | Merkognomen | 41% | 58 |
| #4 | Lil Muhis | 41% | 58 |
| #5 | Darucell | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gorppa | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Chörp | 41% | 58 |
| #3 | Merkognomen | 41% | 58 |
| #4 | Lil Muhis | 41% | 58 |
| #5 | Darucell | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Muhis | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Chörp | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Darucell | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darucell | 177 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lil Muhis | 165 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chörp | 68 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Merkognomen | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gorppa | 10 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gorppa | +5.15 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Lil Muhis | +1.23 | 47 | 64 |
| #3 | Darucell | -0.68 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | Chörp | -1.25 | 41 | 54 |
| #5 | Merkognomen | -1.35 | 46 | 51 |





