








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1631 | 39% |
| Smokes | 995 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 609 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 996 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,855 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grug | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | TANG | 55% | 177 |
| #3 | sleeby | 55% | 170 |
| #4 | Kappabara | 52% | 148 |
| #5 | penis enjoyer | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grug | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | TANG | 55% | 177 |
| #3 | sleeby | 55% | 170 |
| #4 | Kappabara | 52% | 148 |
| #5 | penis enjoyer | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TANG | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Kappabara | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | sleeby | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | penis enjoyer | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TANG | 949 | 0.27 | 27 min |
| #2 | sleeby | 415 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kappabara | 229 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | grug | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | penis enjoyer | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TANG | +4.02 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘖 | +0.41 | 61 | 56 |
| #3 | grug | -0.86 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | sleeby | -1.48 | 47 | 48 |
| #5 | Kappabara | -3.06 | 23 | 29 |





