








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2279 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2434 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1521 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1951 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,758 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bomp | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Mimi | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | SweeChai Butterfly | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | ur uncle fat | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | GaRsE | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bomp | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Mimi | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | SweeChai Butterfly | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | ur uncle fat | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | GaRsE | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mimi | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ur uncle fat | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | SweeChai Butterfly | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | GaRsE | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mimi | 146 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | SweeChai Butterfly | 124 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bomp | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ur uncle fat | 56 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | GaRsE | 23 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mimi | +2.34 | 64 | 64 |
| #2 | GaRsE | +1.12 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | SweeChai Butterfly | +0.56 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | Bomp | +0.34 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | allmoneybackmyhome | -1.02 | 48 | 72 |





