








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3808 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3264 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2940 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3338 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,867 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Dec | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Plebs | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | hew+1 | 47% | 89 |
| #5 | Rich Indian Ranjid | 46% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Dec | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Plebs | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | hew+1 | 47% | 89 |
| #5 | Rich Indian Ranjid | 46% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rich Indian Ranjid | 38 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | hew+1 | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Gandalf | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Dec | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rich Indian Ranjid | 192 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | hew+1 | 119 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Plebs | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gandalf | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dec | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plebs | +3.20 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | Rich Indian Ranjid | +1.62 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | Micro Ice | +0.96 | 86 | 68 |
| #4 | Gandalf | -0.31 | 80 | 44 |
| #5 | hew+1 | -0.76 | 67 | 52 |





