








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 575 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7053 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4578 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6005 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3361 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,419,859 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3091 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sandin | 47% | 342 |
| #7 | Chefren | 46% | 263 |
| #8 | Harryhalvljus | 45% | 223 |
| #9 | robert | 43% | 220 |
| #10 | Gerdin' | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drak-Ulla | 1480 | 0.25 | 47 min |
| #2 | robert | 1379 | 0.30 | 41 min |
| #3 | Sandin | 1026 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #4 | Chefren | 767 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #5 | Harryhalvljus | 703 | 0.16 | 17 min |





