








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 455 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1256 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1161 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 965 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,494 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takumi | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | RiceKari ∪ | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | kasperi | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Julpert | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | FINKID | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silja | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Parsakaali | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Julpert | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Takumi | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parsakaali | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | FINKID | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | silja | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | 🅻🅴🅽🅸🅽 | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Julpert | 30 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takumi | +8.15 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Julpert | +1.55 | 47 | 33 |
| #3 | röllipeikko | +1.43 | 58 | 46 |
| #4 | | +1.04 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | kasperi | +0.94 | 50 | 35 |





