








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1832 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2694 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2078 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1963 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,617 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bronxkyu | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Masterkhan | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Rocky Balboner | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | ThatSlothGuy | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | koolstof | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | fearLess™ | Finally! CS2! | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | iago Lupercal | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | Halfblood | 31% | 13 |
| #9 | Hartseer | 29% | 17 |
| #10 | Gogga | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky Balboner | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Bronxkyu | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Halfblood | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocky Balboner | 191 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ThatSlothGuy | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | koolstof | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bronxkyu | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Halfblood | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fearLess™ | Finally! CS2! | +3.40 | 88 | 40 |
| #2 | Reaygun | +2.03 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | Halfblood | -0.27 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | iago Lupercal | -0.37 | 41 | 50 |
| #5 | koolstof | -0.61 | 66 | 60 |





