








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 468 | 25% |
| Smokes | 572 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 444 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 368 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,060 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nii' | 47% | 53 |
| #8 | Atticus | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | Manhx | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | VACum cleaner | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | grybaS ¯\_(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nii' | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | cia tas kur pasaudo | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Serbentas | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Atticus | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | grybaS ¯\_(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nii' | 106 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | cia tas kur pasaudo | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Atticus | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | grybaS ¯\_(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | TheUrbanSkunk | 24 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VACum cleaner | +4.07 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | cia tas kur pasaudo | +2.71 | 77 | 47 |
| #3 | Nii' | +1.43 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | TheUrbanSkunk | +1.06 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Atticus | -0.10 | 45 | 42 |





