








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 215 | 37% |
| Smokes | 141 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 174 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 50 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,749 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {L-⅃} KaSK | 41% | 49 |
| #2 | Zen | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | beano | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Togglin The Goblin | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {L-⅃} KaSK | 41% | 49 |
| #2 | Zen | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | beano | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Togglin The Goblin | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {L-⅃} KaSK | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Togglin The Goblin | 2 | 0.0174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beano | 31 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #2 | Zen | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Togglin The Goblin | 17 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | {L-⅃} KaSK | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Togglin The Goblin | +3.44 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | beano | -0.33 | 69 | 32 |
| #3 | Zen | -0.98 | 55 | 39 |
| #4 | {L-⅃} KaSK | -1.05 | 28 | 31 |
| #5 | DAd | -2.66 | 22 | 35 |





