








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 181 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1658 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2033 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1938 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2288 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,081,163 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 699 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | G/Rams | 51% | 95 |
| #4 | Paraston | 50% | 72 |
| #5 | bigman154 | 50% | 233 |
| #6 | leif^ | 48% | 235 |
| #7 | Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigman154 | 29 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | LazyEye | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | leif^ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | G/Rams | 1 | 0.0005 |





