








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 489 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4823 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5233 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4695 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3763 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,365,912 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shotya | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | Simpleboo.com | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | jabroni | 54% | 84 |
| #4 | Mrs Puff | 52% | 222 |
| #5 | :< | 51% | 343 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :< | 22 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Mrs Puff | 16 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | jabroni | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | MCBERD | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | shotya | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs Puff | 1016 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | :< | 919 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | jabroni | 231 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Simpleboo.com | 193 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | shotya | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shotya | +2.96 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | MAT | +1.11 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | MCBERD | +0.83 | 64 | 43 |
| #4 | Mrs Puff | +0.25 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | :< | -0.19 | 64 | 63 |





