








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 190 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5024 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4200 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5118 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2024 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,378,915 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paadialune | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | Vorfam | 46% | 265 |
| #3 | risK | 46% | 131 |
| #4 | was bald | 45% | 340 |
| #5 | TRINITY | 45% | 381 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Vorfam | 46% | 265 |
| #3 | risK | 46% | 131 |
| #4 | was bald | 45% | 340 |
| #5 | TRINITY | 45% | 381 |
| #6 | KAERA-ANTS | 44% | 322 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | was bald | 33 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Vorfam | 22 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | TRINITY | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | KAERA-ANTS | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | risK | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vorfam | 804 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | was bald | 700 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | TRINITY | 641 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | risK | 501 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | KAERA-ANTS | 193 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panzerfaust | +2.33 | 62 | 68 |
| #2 | Paadialune | +0.48 | 57 | 48 |
| #3 | KAERA-ANTS | +0.16 | 34 | 46 |
| #4 | Vorfam | -0.36 | 28 | 72 |
| #5 | risK | -0.41 | 41 | 71 |





