








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8450 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9213 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6180 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4252 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,606,501 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 473 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | egg | 45% | 488 |
| #12 | Crybaby | 43% | 127 |
| #13 | Clifford | 43% | 153 |
| #14 | Frant1c | 43% | 153 |
| #15 | The Lowest Byte | 43% | 221 |





