








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 418 matches | ||
| Faceit | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7962 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8178 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7505 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6218 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,709,806 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 811 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shad0w | 59% | 121 |
| #4 | oytal | 54% | 338 |
| #5 | Hawa | 52% | 392 |
| #6 | Premex | 51% | 53 |
| #7 | sleaz | 47% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oytal | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Hawa | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | sleaz | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | NullY | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Shad0w | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NullY | 1013 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #2 | sleaz | 660 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #3 | oytal | 609 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #4 | Hawa | 300 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | Shad0w | 238 | 0.09 | 7 min |





