








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1094 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 633 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 723 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,971 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Meowtastic ♡ | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | Rage | 42% | 19 |
| #15 | gobL1n | 40% | 10 |
| #16 | NATE™ | 33% | 9 |
| #17 | takeru | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Rage | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Supah | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Cain? | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | takeru | 1 | 0.0060 |





