








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,837 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3868 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3118 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3942 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2348 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,582,622 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerkaN | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | WESTツ | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Eddizan | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Gibb | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ☾︎Ω︎TejayΩ︎☼ | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JerkaN | 1039 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | WESTツ | 560 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | Gibb | 538 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | Eddizan | 536 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #5 | Maggo | 303 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☾︎Ω︎TejayΩ︎☼ | +2.15 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | Eddizan | +1.87 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | Gibb | +1.66 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | Maggo | +1.63 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | nibb | +0.32 | 58 | 65 |





