








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 436 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 190 | 2% |
| Smokes | 3750 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3993 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3758 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,550,621 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knock Knock Staigii | 58% | 62 |
| #2 | Gernhart Reinholzen | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Waldnuss09 | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | aimeR. | 52% | 362 |
| #5 | Nice_or_WHA | 52% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | makz | 46% | 145 |
| #9 | Warmak | 46% | 184 |
| #10 | Staigii | 44% | 54 |
| #11 | Jochen | 43% | 60 |
| #12 | PuddingImBusch | 42% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimeR. | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | makz | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Nice_or_WHA | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Warmak | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Staigii | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimeR. | 382 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #2 | PuddingImBusch | 306 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | makz | 217 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Warmak | 174 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Waldnuss1909 | 134 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knock Knock Staigii | +4.21 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Gernhart Reinholzen | +4.09 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Father McFeely | +2.61 | 77 | 36 |
| #4 | Staigii | +2.29 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | aimeR. | +0.19 | 61 | 62 |





