








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 201 matches | 2,233 | |
| Faceit | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2120 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2104 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1912 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,167 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timpy | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Oliwki | 55% | 114 |
| #3 | Nibby | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Engbloms | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | ya | 50% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ya | 50% | 189 |
| #6 | Mahuuz | 49% | 77 |
| #7 | JudithGrimes | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | peter | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | Bille | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ya | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Oliwki | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Mahuuz | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | peter | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Engbloms | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ya | 690 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | Oliwki | 345 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mahuuz | 205 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Timpy | 149 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nibby | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laman | +1.42 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | ya | +1.07 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | Timpy | +0.67 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | Oliwki | +0.32 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | Nibby | -0.92 | 66 | 64 |





