








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 878 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1300 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1203 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 732 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,143 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlazZ'D* | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | kontas | 52% | 110 |
| #3 | Gamma | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | spooky-spec | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Scotty | 38% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kontas | 52% | 110 |
| #3 | Gamma | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | spooky-spec | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Scotty | 38% | 50 |
| #6 | Ma Petite Pousse | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamma | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | kontas | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kontas | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Scotty | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gamma | 58 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | BlazZ'D* | 46 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | spooky-spec | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlazZ'D* | +4.43 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Gamma | +1.09 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | kontas | +0.64 | 55 | 54 |
| #4 | Ma Petite Pousse | +0.44 | 38 | 48 |
| #5 | Super Saltian | -0.68 | 38 | 58 |





