








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3297 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2580 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2918 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1957 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,574 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joa | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | .ZerZic^ | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | collern | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Evenetzky | 44% | 139 |
| #5 | Gurrern | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joa | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Evenetzky | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Brustek | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Hanern | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Gurrern | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evenetzky | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Brustek | 141 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hanern | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Finnderu? | 92 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | collern | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evenetzky | +1.90 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | gulpe guri | +0.58 | 46 | 70 |
| #3 | Joa | -0.30 | 51 | 42 |
| #4 | Brustek | -0.60 | 51 | 37 |
| #5 | .ZerZic^ | -0.85 | 52 | 78 |





