








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1100 | 37% |
| Smokes | 891 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 112 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 847 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,379 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭐Lasgasga Flask⭐ | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ⛓ SquiggleHawk ⛓ | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | TheScoutking | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | big dawg | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoiS4uce | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | TheScoutking | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | ⭐Lasgasga Flask⭐ | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ⛓ SquiggleHawk ⛓ | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | big dawg | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chunke Monke | +3.53 | 54 | 57 |
| #2 | ⛓ SquiggleHawk ⛓ | +1.52 | 56 | 46 |
| #3 | big dawg | +1.13 | 53 | 42 |
| #4 | ⭐Lasgasga Flask⭐ | -1.83 | 22 | 47 |
| #5 | SoiS4uce | -3.47 | 37 | 43 |





