








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2814 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1612 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1037 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1593 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,397 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KnekkeKneip | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Hundor ((Harald)(Dark Halvor)) | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Jimmy | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Sleepy Jay | 58% | 111 |
| #5 | Jossen | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hundor ((Harald)(Dark Halvor)) | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Jimmy | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Sleepy Jay | 58% | 111 |
| #5 | Jossen | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | NeXT | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleepy Jay | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Jossen | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleepy Jay | 434 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jimmy | 86 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hundor ((Harald)(Dark Halvor)) | 55 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | KnekkeKneip | 50 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | NeXT | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy | +2.18 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Luddyfree | +1.62 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Sleepy Jay | -0.04 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | Hundor ((Harald)(Dark Halvor)) | -0.53 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | NeXT | -0.70 | 67 | 40 |





