








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2025 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2030 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2051 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,098 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZIMT | 57% | 174 |
| #2 | (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝) | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | _rmK | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | KeSh | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | R3mix | 50% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝) | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | _rmK | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | KeSh | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | R3mix | 50% | 86 |
| #6 | Matasser | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZIMT | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | KeSh | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | R3mix | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Matasser | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝) | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZIMT | 559 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | R3mix | 364 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | KeSh | 149 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝) | 82 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | _rmK | 46 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr:3x | +2.81 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | ZIMT | +1.77 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | _rmK | -0.47 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝) | -1.02 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | R3mix | -2.10 | 31 | 63 |





