








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 426 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3496 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5219 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4836 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3897 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,862,837 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torn Achilles Tendon | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | edgebug eddy | 51% | 113 |
| #3 | Ghetto | 47% | 422 |
| #4 | reginald | 46% | 101 |
| #5 | Clyde Torkel | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | edgebug eddy | 51% | 113 |
| #3 | Ghetto | 47% | 422 |
| #4 | reginald | 46% | 101 |
| #5 | Clyde Torkel | 45% | 110 |
| #6 | tommi. 8) | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghetto | 21 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Clyde Torkel | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | reginald | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | tommi. 8) | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | edgebug eddy | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghetto | 635 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #2 | Clyde Torkel | 308 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | reginald | 215 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Torn Achilles Tendon | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | edgebug eddy | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reginald | +0.86 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | Diaghre | +0.75 | 59 | 54 |
| #3 | Clyde Torkel | +0.44 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | Ghetto | -0.16 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | tommi. 8) | -0.45 | 58 | 58 |





