








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 373 | 4% |
| Smokes | 698 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 4111 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 4661 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,875 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cocaine addict | 63% | 56 |
| #2 | Vure Lucid | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Zenny | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | MrOliver | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | PowerfulDrop | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ GWP ] Cum Detective | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Who¿ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Nekilia | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Swankadia (He/Rtmx 6090titi) | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Cudge | 5 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrOliver | +4.97 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | Swankadia (He/Rtmx 6090titi) | +4.85 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | PowerfulDrop | +4.68 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | Cocaine addict | +4.33 | 70 | 24 |
| #5 | Cudge | +2.51 | 52 | 45 |





