








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1233 | 35% |
| Smokes | 764 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 565 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 926 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,496 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radical Islam | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | MatchedBowl420 | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | Derbs | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radical Islam | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | MatchedBowl420 | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | Derbs | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MatchedBowl420 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Radical Islam | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MatchedBowl420 | 135 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Derbs | 82 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Radical Islam | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derbs | +3.46 | 62 | 71 |
| #2 | Aeroment | +2.04 | 65 | 47 |
| #3 | MatchedBowl420 | -0.60 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | Radical Islam | -2.05 | 20 | 47 |





