








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 813 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2467 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2668 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2881 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2371 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,497 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ray | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | SnowyLab | 59% | 112 |
| #3 | alonzo | 54% | 131 |
| #4 | spor | 51% | 164 |
| #5 | a||oyツ #limetime | 48% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spor | 693 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | SnowyLab | 426 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | alonzo | 417 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | a||oyツ #limetime | 397 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | Ray | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ray | +2.53 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | alx | +2.28 | 83 | 73 |
| #3 | SnowyLab | +1.51 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | spor | +0.56 | 80 | 70 |
| #5 | alonzo | -0.99 | 72 | 68 |





