








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 95 | 6% |
| Smokes | 251 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 725 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $52,181 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maison Baignoire | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Flambyy | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | Maison Citrouille | 45% | 55 |
| #4 | niquetonperebryan | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Boulette | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maison Baignoire | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Flambyy | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | Maison Citrouille | 45% | 55 |
| #4 | niquetonperebryan | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Boulette | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maison Citrouille | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Boulette | 4 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | niquetonperebryan | 4 | 0.0215 |
| #4 | Maison Baignoire | 4 | 0.0417 |
| #5 | Flambyy | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maison Citrouille | 182 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | niquetonperebryan | 50 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #3 | Flambyy | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Boulette | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Maison Baignoire | 12 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flambyy | +4.13 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | Boulette | +1.97 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | niquetonperebryan | +1.40 | 76 | 50 |
| #4 | Maison Baignoire | +1.32 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | Maison Citrouille | +0.31 | 57 | 66 |





