








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1049 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 598 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9373 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6351 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 8552 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6790 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,205,112 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McTroll | 47% | 116 |
| #2 | Incompl te | 43% | 86 |
| #3 | MamaTux | 41% | 120 |
| #4 | MewTT | 38% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McTroll | 47% | 116 |
| #2 | Incompl te | 43% | 86 |
| #3 | MamaTux | 41% | 120 |
| #4 | MewTT | 38% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McTroll | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | MamaTux | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | MewTT | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Incompl te | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McTroll | 267 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | MamaTux | 63 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Incompl te | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | MewTT | 29 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wabbit | +0.83 | 39 | 70 |
| #2 | McTroll | -0.03 | 32 | 64 |
| #3 | MewTT | -0.50 | 47 | 38 |
| #4 | Incompl te | -0.93 | 24 | 44 |
| #5 | MamaTux | -4.38 | 19 | 55 |





