








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 452 | 16% |
| Smokes | 647 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 893 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 854 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,197 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louie | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Mr. Dogs | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | ando | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | jUUce | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | IMA START BLASTIN | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fancy_chef_2013 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ando | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Mr. Dogs | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Louie | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | roland | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Dogs | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | roland | 88 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | fancy_chef_2013 | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | jUUce | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Louie | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Louie | +3.76 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | roland | +3.02 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | jUUce | +2.81 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | Mr. Dogs | +0.78 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Little Man Tingz | +0.70 | 58 | 53 |





