








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4183 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3542 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3988 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3741 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,057 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Ж | ※ Mythin | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | SlateDragon1 | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | ians | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Banana ☆ | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SlateDragon1 | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | ians | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Banana ☆ | 46% | 35 |
| #6 | JarHead | 35% | 40 |
| #7 | OGCanadianTrash | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarHead | 8 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ians | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Mongo | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Banana ☆ | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | OGCanadianTrash | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlateDragon1 | 95 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mongo | 86 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Banana ☆ | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ians | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | JarHead | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongo | +3.23 | 91 | 48 |
| #2 | Jensyll | +3.17 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | Ж | ※ Mythin | +0.48 | 59 | 37 |
| #4 | OGCanadianTrash | +0.34 | 56 | 28 |
| #5 | ians | -0.29 | 67 | 42 |





