








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6812 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5232 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4258 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2021 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,986 of utility $15 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VB STUBBY KILLER | 52% | 149 |
| #2 | Kush Connoisseur | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | Swifttt | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Yamahh | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VB STUBBY KILLER | 52% | 149 |
| #2 | Kush Connoisseur | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | Swifttt | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Yamahh | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kush Connoisseur | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Yamahh | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Swifttt | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | VB STUBBY KILLER | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kush Connoisseur | 572 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | VB STUBBY KILLER | 287 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Swifttt | 132 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yamahh | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VB STUBBY KILLER | +1.66 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | Kush Connoisseur | +1.42 | 68 | 68 |
| #3 | Doools | +0.69 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | Swifttt | -0.74 | 54 | 51 |
| #5 | Yamahh | -1.42 | 54 | 62 |





