








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1683 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1485 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2342 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 999 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,984 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | McChicken | 36% | 163 |
| #7 | Mclovin | 35% | 52 |
| #8 | GSXPR0D1GY | 34% | 38 |
| #9 | Anti | 33% | 24 |
| #10 | Vertildr | 33% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McChicken | 66 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | James | 38 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Mclovin | 10 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | JUNO | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Vertildr | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | 339 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | McChicken | 199 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vertildr | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mclovin | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | GSXPR0D1GY | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertildr | +1.49 | 59 | 64 |
| #2 | JUNO | +0.88 | 59 | 19 |
| #3 | James | +0.75 | 67 | 44 |
| #4 | Horse | +0.60 | 46 | 48 |
| #5 | Stryker | +0.58 | 43 | 59 |





