








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 89 | 9% |
| Smokes | 171 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 333 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,149 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dead | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Layor | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | patii. | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | m4ttii | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dead | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Layor | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | patii. | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | m4ttii | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Layor | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Dead | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | patii. | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dead | 103 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Layor | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | patii. | 20 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | m4ttii | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dead | +2.95 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | m4ttii | +2.47 | 94 | 70 |
| #3 | Layor | +1.36 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | LoorD | -1.78 | 64 | 39 |
| #5 | patii. | -3.30 | 57 | 53 |





