








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 724 | 20% |
| Smokes | 662 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1414 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 870 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,123 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobsen | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Ivolution | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | reLaXe アレックス | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | saiboT | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | JaayDee96 | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrEndlichdabei | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | JaayDee96 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Ivolution | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | saiboT | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | reLaXe アレックス | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrEndlichdabei | 194 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | JaayDee96 | 179 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | reLaXe アレックス | 173 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | saiboT | 171 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tobsen | 132 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobsen | +2.03 | 57 | 70 |
| #2 | MrEndlichdabei | +1.10 | 62 | 58 |
| #3 | JaayDee96 | +0.08 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | Winter Xem | +0.07 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | saiboT | +0.01 | 50 | 73 |





