








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2221 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3182 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3010 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2017 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,775 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konfucius | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Arvenor | 53% | 173 |
| #3 | Lewis - | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | whitey | 50% | 56 |
| #5 | Defysz | 49% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lewis - | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | whitey | 50% | 56 |
| #5 | Defysz | 49% | 99 |
| #6 | Dog The downie Hunter | 48% | 29 |
| #7 | SugarGoose | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arvenor | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Defysz | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | whitey | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | SugarGoose | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Dog The downie Hunter | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arvenor | 680 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Defysz | 150 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | SugarGoose | 150 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dog The downie Hunter | 119 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | whitey | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arvenor | +2.09 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | SugarGoose | +1.86 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | Dog The downie Hunter | +0.99 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | Lewis - | +0.16 | 64 | 37 |
| #5 | Defysz | -0.10 | 61 | 65 |





