








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3744 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3456 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3757 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2012 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,333,913 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Pile | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | ♥♥♥ °чεگ ч๏ซг Ģгค©ε♥♥♥ | 51% | 226 |
| #3 | sPawN | 49% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Pile | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | ♥♥♥ °чεگ ч๏ซг Ģгค©ε♥♥♥ | 51% | 226 |
| #3 | sPawN | 49% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥♥♥ °чεگ ч๏ซг Ģгค©ε♥♥♥ | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | sPawN | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥♥♥ °чεگ ч๏ซг Ģгค©ε♥♥♥ | 996 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | sPawN | 316 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | La Pile | 84 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezra kramer | +2.90 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | La Pile | -0.12 | 36 | 67 |
| #3 | ♥♥♥ °чεگ ч๏ซг Ģгค©ε♥♥♥ | -0.97 | 44 | 80 |
| #4 | sPawN | -1.08 | 49 | 59 |





