








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1059 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 861 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,277 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leukalainen | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | Onion of solitude | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | 9 9 9 | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | Märkä jorma v2 | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Kimble | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onion of solitude | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Nikke | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Leukalainen | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | premiumcheats.ru | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Kimble | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikke | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | premiumcheats.ru | 47 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Onion of solitude | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rabe island | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | 9 9 9 | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | August | +2.71 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | Leukalainen | +1.44 | 62 | 35 |
| #3 | Rabe island | +1.04 | 50 | 77 |
| #4 | Kimble | -0.42 | 47 | 50 |
| #5 | Onion of solitude | -0.53 | 48 | 53 |





