








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2634 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4767 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4205 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1600 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,474,783 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigaguts | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | la sirenetta di ostia | 57% | 79 |
| #3 | SPALL | 55% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigaguts | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | la sirenetta di ostia | 57% | 79 |
| #3 | SPALL | 55% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPALL | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | la sirenetta di ostia | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Gigaguts | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPALL | 783 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | la sirenetta di ostia | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gigaguts | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zarock | +1.05 | 58 | 58 |
| #2 | la sirenetta di ostia | +0.42 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | SPALL | -0.16 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | Gigaguts | -4.31 | 38 | 50 |





