








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2292 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2326 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2153 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,267,287 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manlet | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | Suoladgl | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | kippo^ ez.org | 66% | 29 |
| #4 | Muzhsa | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | mckeilaaja | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irwin Roadman | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Suoladgl | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | kippo^ ez.org | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Muzhsa | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irwin Roadman | 352 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | kippo^ ez.org | 133 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Suoladgl | 108 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Boydon | 77 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | guudilepa | 66 | 0.19 | 1 min |





