








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5380 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4035 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4832 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3638 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,328 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dEFI | 52% | 143 |
| #2 | Jub | 50% | 418 |
| #3 | Dibo The Gift Dragon | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Jub's Ugly Balls | 48% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dEFI | 52% | 143 |
| #2 | Jub | 50% | 418 |
| #3 | Dibo The Gift Dragon | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Jub's Ugly Balls | 48% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jub | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | dEFI | 17 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Jub's Ugly Balls | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Dibo The Gift Dragon | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jub | 494 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jub's Ugly Balls | 194 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | dEFI | 166 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dibo The Gift Dragon | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Insolencee | +3.55 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | Dibo The Gift Dragon | +1.43 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | dEFI | +0.73 | 73 | 37 |
| #4 | Jub's Ugly Balls | +0.10 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | Jub | -2.97 | 34 | 53 |





