








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 21% |
| Smokes | 392 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 587 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,889 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monk | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | djabber | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | BENN | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Chadzzy | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | cheek | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jack | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Bone | 33% | 12 |
| #8 | .xtR | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷R aphaeL✵ | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | Baz | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheek | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Chadzzy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheek | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Chadzzy | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | djabber | 32 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | .xtR | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | BENN | 15 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djabber | +1.73 | 84 | 81 |
| #2 | Jack | +1.38 | 93 | 59 |
| #3 | Chadzzy | +1.13 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | Monk | +0.36 | 79 | 59 |
| #5 | Tappo | +0.30 | 72 | 68 |





